I really try to be positive and take the high road, avoid negative people, drama and nasty gossip.  This weekend I ran into many parents and kids I hadn’t seen in awhile and it was fun to watch the kids play soccer, see how much they have grown and how much they have changed and matured.  Those were all positive experiences and yet, it took only one bad experience to over shadow the rest.

My daughter’s team split at the beginning of the fall season.  There was a lot of drama over practice fields, training, etc. Ultimately the coach decided to end his relationship with the club we were playing for so, 12 of the 16 players decided to follow the coach and 4 did not.  I don’t know all the details, I didn’t want to know and I did my best to stay out of it.  I guess it got ugly and one of the mom’s who chose not to follow the coach had made many of the parents who decided to go with the coach “uncomfortable.”  I didn’t know what that meant until this weekend.

I never actually talked to this person, I just saw her sitting on our sidelines near our defense and I thought it was great of her to come watch and cheer our girls on.  I mean, she was the team mom before the split and a member of the soccer club’s board.  A board, which makes each parent sign and “code of conduct” because they want soccer to be a fun, positive experience for the players.  After a few minutes passed, my opinion of this mom changed, she was cheering for the opposing team and whispering under her breath when our team was playing well.  I couldn’t believe it. Her daughter was not playing on either team and the opposing team was not affiliated with her club.  Based on her actions, she was there for no other reason than to root against our team. I was so disgusted and angry that any mom could root against a team of 11, 12 and 13 year old girls, who her daughter played with and who once looked up to her because she was once their “team mom.”  It took everything in me not to address her, I wanted to remind her that she is a member of a board that frowns upon, parents creating a negative atmosphere for the kids and unsportsman like behavior. Now I knew why some of our parents said this person had made them feel “uncomfortable.”  I bit my tongue, tried to take the high-road and suppressed the feeling of wanting to engage this woman.  It continue to bother me throughout the rest of the day, it would pop up in my thoughts and make me angry all over again.  I thought I had it under control and had gotten passed it until this morning when I was feeling “odd” and I couldn’t understand why I was feeling that way.

It wasn’t until I was talking with Greg after the show that I realized what was going on with me. I was fumbling for the words to express how I was feeling.  I knew it was my problem but I didn’t understand it and I didn’t want to take it out on anyone else.  Then as our conversation continued, this negative experience from the weekend came into the conversation.  As I talked about it out loud for the first time, I realized THAT was the root of my issue.  I started feeling better almost immediately…I had begun to “let it go.” Suddenly I wanted to sit down and write it out so I could really "let it go," without dragging someone else through all the negativity.

This experience confirmed something I've always suspected about myself, I cannot handle negativity and that is why I must CHOOSE to be positive.

Aaahhh, I don’t know if I will actually post this to my blog but, I feel SO much better for letting it out.