My mom is an amazing woman who has always been there for me and both of my siblings. She always found a way to balance our school activities, sports, dr. appointments, etc when were growing up and she continues to be our biggest supporter now as we are adults.
I’d like to believe that I’d do the same for her but when I look back on a particularly tough time in her life I feel I should have “been there” with her more. It was 8 years ago and I was so wrapped up in my own life, my daughter was 4, my son was just a few weeks old, my husband had lost his mother to cancer the year before and it had taken a toll on our marriage. I was living my life day by day, moment by moment and my mom was a big part of my support system.
As parents, we protect our kids, it is our first instinct and that was the case with my mom, 8 years ago when she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She was trying to determine the best way to tell me about her diagnosis and concerned about how I would react because, in her eyes I was going through such a difficult time in my life. Looking back on that now, it makes me sad because, in my eyes that is the last thing she needed to be concerned about, she should come first.
Looking back on it now, eve thought I was there for her in the capacity I could be, I don’t feel it was a enough. I never met her oncologist, never went wit her for her chemo treatments. I did go with her to the appointments with her surgeons and took shift with other family members as she recovered from each of her 5 surgeries. I was there when she shaved her hair and had her first wig styled but, there was so much more to that long fought journey that I didn’t experience with her first hand. I am so very thankful for her friends and our entire family who picked up the support lines when I couldn’t.
My mom had insurance and it picked up a great deal of her treatments but, where the insurance stopped the American Cancer Society picked up. She used their programs and services, FREE of charge. The people there helped her deal with terrible disease in a way we could not. This was new to all of us in our family and I am thankful there was a local organization that could help guide her, give her confidence and the reassurance that she needed.
During the last 8 years, I have met many cancer survivors and I am always humbled by what they were able to live with and overcome during their fight with this ugly disease. I think about all of the women who have or will have to deal with breast cancer on their own, without a support system of family and friends, or without insurance and it upsets me. I don’t want to feel helpless and I don’t want to think about a friend or family member having to fight breast cancer so, I do the one thing I know I can, I support the American Cancer Society. Every October I start a team, ask for donations and walk with my mom in her honor.
I can’t change the past but I have to do what little I can do personally to try to make a difference for others. I can't do alone but I don't want to be on the outside just looking in, I want to be a part of the solution.