I learned last week that “the look” works at a distance just as good as it does up close and personal.  I am talking about “the look” a mom gives a child to bring attention to a bad choice.  Turns out it is even more powerful than I realized.

Here’s the deal,  my son and I talk in the car everyday about his day at school and recently he told me about a child in his class, who had been in trouble recently, we will call him “Cole.”  During a recent drive home from school my son told me that “Cole’s
 mom is probably going to be mad because “Cole” received 3 “think times” today at school.  Needless to say this got my attention because one “think time,” is a big deal but 3 in one day, wow!  For those of you who have never heard of a “think time,” basically a child makes a bad choice, the teacher separates them from the rest of the class to sit alone and think about their choice.  Then they must write out what they did wrong and what “good” choice they could have made instead.  The process takes some time so I can imagine this poor kids spent the majority of his school day in “Think Time.”  Of course, I was concerned about “Cole’s” influence on the other kids in the classroom so as part of our long discussion I asked my son if he hangs out with “Cole.”  He said, “No way, mom!”  I was relieved to hear that answer.

A few days later, I am on the phone with my husband while waiting in parent pickup.  The line is long and as I pull up in front of the school, I see my son on the playground talking to and joking around with a young man who I recognize as “Cole.”  They weren’t doing anything wrong but I was weary.  I was still on the phone with my husband so I began filling him in on our son’s story about “Cole” and the fact that he was currently hanging out with “Cole” on the playground.  Just then my son made eye contact with me and yelled “Hi, mom” picked up his backpack and ran over to the car. 

I was wearing sunglasses but he must have still been able to read “the look” because as he threw his backpack in through the open passenger window of my car he said, “Mom that was not ‘Cole’ that was ‘Coleman’.”   My husband began to laugh on the other end of the phone because he knew immediately that my son must have read “the look” on my face because he could hear him explaining.  I ignored my laughing husband and turned my attention to my son and said, “Coleman?” He began to explain there are two kids in his class with similar names “Cole” from Tennessee and “Coleman” from here.  I thanked my son for clarifying that point for me.  I then said “Goodbye” to my husband who wanted to point out that “the look” must be very powerful because my son was able to read it through my sunglasses, 25 yards away on the playground. 

I can’t explain it, my kids can be in the same room as I am, just a couple feet away from me and they can’t hear a word I am saying but, a single disapproving look across the playground stopped my son in his tracks…go figure.